Tonight on the way home from my daughter’s school program I looked down to see the gas mileage range. I told my husband “I’ve got 12 miles before I run out of gas. It’s been less.” He then cracks up laughing and says “Yeah a lot less, like none!” We both cracked up and started reminiscing about all my crazy driving adventures. We were in the middle of discussing how many curbs I’ve hit when he exclaimed “You just hit that curb!” Me: “No I did not!” (still laughing) Him: “Yes you did, your tire skimmed it.” J: “Yeah I felt it too mom. Really?” Of course we all cracked up again. Classic.
I am the queen of hitting curbs. I probably hold a record the most times a person can run out of gas. And it should be noted that any vehicle I own should be equipped with an “Oh $%^! bar.” Maybe 2 or 3 for that matter.
I’m really not a bad driver I swear. In fact, I’m pretty cautious when driving especially when my kids are with me. But my past would tell a different story.
The first incident I remember having was when I was 17 and living with my dad at the time. I had a doctor’s appointment that afternoon at a new doctor whose parking lot I was not familiar with. Jen it’s just a parking lot, what could possibly go wrong? This particular parking lot was designed to drive in a certain way and drive out a different way, complete with miniature railroad bars in different places. Some were up and some were down. I didn’t notice either way. Somehow I managed to completely not see the ones that were down and drove right through them. Luckily the only damage that was done to my car was it broke the windshield wipers. The miniature railroad bars weren’t so lucky. My dad asked me what happened? I just shrugged with an innocent “I don’t know.” He just shook his head. I swear he had a smirk that almost said “dang women drivers!” as if it were obvious I did know. lol
My husband’s truck was his baby. He got it a year or so before we started dating and had it all souped up. Seriously this truck was jacked up on huge tires that almost required a ladder for me to get in, KC lights on top, huge grill added to the front, and glass packs mufflers. It was amazing he let me drive it. But let me drive it he did. We were already engaged and I had drove it to the mall one day. I parked next to one of the big light poles that had yellow pant all around it. When I left I didn’t take the turn wide enough, and put a HUGE dent in the side of his truck, complete with yellow paint to make it all pretty! And he still married me! He is a keeper for sure! lol
Of course there was the time I was driving my brand new 2 weeks old Chevy Cavalier. I was drinking a frozen coffee from the local coffee shop (before we had Starbucks) when the little paper monkey they put on the straw fell off. Stupid stupid monkey. I looked down for all of 2 seconds and the next thing I know I’m taking out a huge garbage can and knocked out the side passenger mirror. Fun time explaining that one to the hubs. I couldn’t deny or try and lie my way out of the time I hit a pole pulling into a gas station right in front of him and dented the front corner of the bumper. He just stood there with this “are you kidding me?” look on his face shaking his head.
I’ve hit so many curbs I lost count years ago. Some have even flattened tires and messed up axles and rims. I’ve ran out of gas at least 5 times, mostly due to laziness, and come close to running out a hundred times more. I know I can make it from Hobby Lobby in Beaumont to my house in BC when the gas light comes on. For those who don’t live around here, that’s a good 25 min drive. Orange cones…need I say more? I’ve been lucky and blessed that the only real wreck I’ve ever been in happened back in 2009 and wasn’t my fault. This guy pulled out in front of me and even though I slammed on my breaks there wasn’t enough time and I hit him.
But I think the winner of all my priceless endeavers happened back in 2000. I was 20 years old and driving my Dodge Neon. Let me say now I hate bugs…all kinds! Well I’m driving down this road going about 20-30 mph when all of a sudden this bug started flying in my face and wouldn’t not go away no matter how many times I waved my hand in front of me. Well. You can see where this is going right? The next thing I knew I am taking out a mailbox, then another mailbox, then my car literally jumps a culvert and ends up in the ditch on the other side, which then had to be towed out. The best part of all this? The people whose mailboxes I took out just so happened to be outside and witnessed the whole darn thing.
Before you get worried for the safety of me and my kids, I’ll say now that this all happened a very long time ago, 10 years or more. I still hit curbs, like I said I’m the queen of it! My oldest son can always be counted on to say “really Mom? really” each time. But my jumping culverts, taking out mailboxes and poles, and running out of gas days are over. I am pretty sure I learned my lesson. But I’m sure it’s safe to say my vehicle should always come equipped with an “oh $%^! bar. 🙂
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